Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I came upon twin fawns in the display case of a mom and pop toy and science store in Kansas City, Missouri. It took me two years to win the trust of the shop owner and save the money to buy them. A taxidermist spotted a dead deer by the side of the road. He stopped to properly dispose of the body and realized she was pregnant. He opened her and found near full-term twin fawns, he removed and preserved them.
Deer rarely have twins and the taxidermist retained the uterine gesture of their bodies. I built them a vitrine with a light blue base. Their prematurity exaggerates the delicacy of an incredibly sweet thing. The points of their hooves, the length of their lashes, the spots of their hides, nose to small nose in an ur-cartoonish realism … Viewers’ eyes trick them into believing the fawns are breathing. The tragedy of beauty is its transience.

The twins live forever in their own demise. They are sleeping beauties.They have been muses since I first saw them … We dress death in lilies and bronze the names of our dead sons on walls. We erect altars of toys and hold candlelight vigils to express hope. My twin fawns sleep endlessly on their baby blue block in my studio. The twins never opened their eyes yet their wondrous fatality evokes an acceptable alternative to death.
— Peregrine Honig

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I just think

It could have been him

It could be him next time

And what would I do?

And I sit and pray and wish and hope that that next time doesn't happen

And I morn the loss of my brother that could have happened, so easily

And I hope that that day never comes

But these losses along the way, such a waste

Such a shock to the system

And he rings me, and tells me he loves me

And I know that he is hurting.

And I know that he is thinking the same.

I worry about him so much anyway, when things like this happens, I worry even more.

It is so sad
Everything pauses.
Nothing happens.
Everything happens at once.
It feels like being in the eye of a storm, of people, phone calls.
It brings people together, it tears people apart.

I wish it would stop happening.
Just when everything is going fine...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

This is from one of the blogs that I look at regularly, can't remember which one...

And this is the lovely yellow glass vase I picked up in Ikea on Tuesday...My curtains, which are pulled in this photo, are deep teal, Like the cubby hole in the picture above...
Pretty sure Yellow and Teal are my new favorite colour combo...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Yes!! roll up, roll up, February is here! January...what...where did that pesky month go??
Forever I have thought of February as being a wintery month, cold, hard and dormant...but to my surprise, Jane informed me that the first, which is also my birthday, is also the first day of the Celtic Spring...indeed, leave it to the Celts to decide that Spring would happen now...when every bear is still hibernating, and all the plants are dull and asleep...nice one...
Although, if anyone else was looking out the window today, and I'm sure the weather was mighty different  depending on where you were, but HERE it was very springy in the irish sense of the word...meaning...still and sunny one minute, windy and dark as night the next, with sudden downpours, sun showers and black clouds. So manic was the weather today, that the cats did not leave the kitchen all day, and the donkeys stayed in their shed for the majority of the day...which is pretty unusual...So...I take it the groundhog barely peeked its little peeper above ground yesterday...I wonder if he even pulled the duvet down from over him?

I have been SO busy the last week...have you noticed my absence? :)

Last Thursday I had my first driving lesson in over 2 years, as I received my test notification via email last week. 
Tony came to the gate and got me to hop into the drivers seat straight away…
I panicked ever so slightly, trying to remember what to do, what thing did what, and get the feel for changing gears again, but it went so brilliantly! I drove from the house, to Castlebar, then around Castlebar, did one of the test routes, reversed round a corner, which he said was perfect, and it would have passed on the test. Did a 3 point turn, also perfect, and a hill start. Parked the car twice….basically FLEW it! Was such a buzz, and he's really lovely, and totally makes you feel at ease. I actually surprised myself, because I thought I would have forgotten everything, nay…it was like riding a bike…all came flooding back to me once I got a feel for it again.
After the lesson, I had to wait around in Castlebar for a couple hours till mum was finished work…so a spot of retail therapy was in order. I went to Beanstalk and picked up some nice embroidery thread, and a green glass suncatcher…some foam beads with letters on them, and last but not least, an elephant tea pot…*swoon*
Elephants have been making themselves visible to me as of late, and when I spotted him, I knew that he would find his way down off the shelf and into my bag, so I gave him a helping hand. After I was done mooching around town, I walked up to the fire station and waited in the kitchen till mum was finished work…I drew a bit and read a bit…generally just kept myself busy…
Friday, I insisted that I drove into town in the boys car, which Im now insured on…for guess how much…NOTHING…Oh the perks of being over 21 and female! Friday being 'biddy day' the town was teaming with old, young and in-between…but all was well with me, mum and the car…Did the recycling, went to the post office, got my L plates and then drove home…epic.
Jane picked me up after ballet Friday night, as I stayed with them over the weekend for a change of scenery. As always, I was warmly welcomed into her car, arms, home ^_^ Much talk and craic was had, with Aidan dispensing mighty amounts of scandal, most of which I cannot remember. Pilates balls were inflated and hot cocos were gulped down.
Eventually Jane and I snuck off for me to read her tarot cards, something I absolutely LOVE doing, but don't get to do nearly enough. We arranged a lovely little nest in her studio…I wish I had thought at the time to take a picture, because it really was lovely. Jane's spread consisted of either 19 or 20 cards…the biggest spread Ive ever read, BUT Merlin's beard was it accurate! Im glad she took notes, because it was so apt, and such a GOOD reading, that its nice to have a record of it. We discussed each card in detail, deciphering it and what it meant. 
I throughly enjoyed it, and felt like a good thing.
We finished at about half 2…and hungry, decided a post mid-night snack was well in order…marmite and cheesy toasties to the rescue!!
I slotted very snugly into the sitting room with Meabh's spare mattress…so warmsies and cozy…it was a lovely sleep ^_^
Because I was totally comotose, I didn't hear Bee walking and subsequently tripping and falling everytime she went through the sitting room…a bomb could have gone off and i would have been none the wiser…

Looking lovelier then a spring day, the two of us set off for Ballina the next morning (Saturday) for Jane's exhibition…some of her classmates from college were going to see it and wanted to meet Jane at it. We made good time, and met her classmates at the Art's centre. I think we stayed about half an hour, then left, on foot, for Gaughan's. After relocating to a bigger table, we settled and placed our orders. I had a vegetable soup and a mixed berry crumble, with a milky coffee. GORGEOUS Gaughan's is definitely the regular Ballina haunt from now on. Afterwards, when her mates had all gone their separate ways, Jane and I skipped off to Penny's where I baggsed 3lovely dresses (pictures to follow).

When we got back to the house, there was quite a bit of activity, with Aidan and Jane both getting ready to jet off. Jerry and Terase stopped by to sandwiches and cake, which Roisin had just made...which was YUM! I read Roisin's cards, then we got ready to go up town to watch The Pipe in the photography studio, previously the creche beside the school. We walked up town from the was so so cold, but it was nice to get a chance to talk to Ros without distraction :)
We were greeted at the door by her dad, and the dude that was running the evening. We grabbed the 2 seater couch at the top of the room, and true to form, it started about 15mins later then it should have, because people showed up for it late...but that film moving. I totally preempted it, and my eyes filled up with tears as soon as it started, just thinking about it fills me with such sadness, and anger and frustration. 
When it was over, we walked ran was even colder, and it felt like it took us no time to get back tot he house. When we got in, me Ros and Meabh watched big fish, one of my favorites, and had more tea and cake...Then Jane landed, and we got ourselves all off to bed, because we were having an early start Sunday...

The last Sunday of the month, is the Castlebar carboot sale, so with that in mind, we woke, dressed, and headed in that general direction, with Meabh and uncle John in the backseat. I really wasn't expecting ANYONE at being so so cold, and everything...but it was one of the busiest that Ive been to in awhile...and I picked up a few niceys...A coffee set, a set of little glasses, some old photos and postcards, beads, heels and some silkie hens...yeh, I wish...there were two people selling chickens...I will have chickens, but I want to do it right...

When we got back to the house, me and Roisin watched Trainspotting, and talked about movies and music for a little while until I got a lift back to home, to see poor mommy before she had to work another night :(
Monday was pretty uneventful, except I drove to Castlebar with mum to go food shopping, in the dark and the rain...and parked perfectly. She was mighty was I...don't think Ive ever driven in the pitch black night AND rain before...check!