Thursday, January 27, 2011

oh lordy, i have so much swimming in my head right now...
its like soup

but im going to go for a walk instead of trying to sort through it, theres not enough time to do it now, maybe later.

need to sort out some driving lessons today, as my test is the 1st of march...should be fun...nothing like CRAMMING in driving time...GOD...leave it to me to do everything last minute...

Have to find the driving instructors number now, cuz the one the boy gave me...well, its not even thats a dead end...

some times i wish i was a detective...that way i would get enjoyment out of doing things like, looking up a number, and tracking the dude down...instead, its just a pain, and makes me want to drive less and less...

mantra for the day

**stop procrastinating**

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The to come after

Myself, Bernie Mommie, Jane Deer and Mog are going to see The Pipe tonight, and I can hardly wait.
I saw a review of it, one of the last times I was in Sligo, on The View, and it just looks amazing.
I was really worried that I wouldn't actually get to see it, but through some stroke of luck, Castlebar is showing it for a week...I think tomorrow is the last day, so..


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I hold my breath
And let it out
It fills my lungs
I breathe it out
I feel it cold
I hold it warm
I hold my breath
I breathe it out
Im not really sure what it is
Im sure there is a word to put on it, but I just cannot be bothered trolling through the internet dictionary looking for it
I think there is something, that affects certain people more then others...
That they go against everything that is around them, in a way.
That factors that SHOULD influence them, just don't, for one reason or another, and I would love to know what that reason is
Is it some sort of deep rooted, star given strength that allows them to bi-pass the parenting and pressure and media and etc etc etc, and just sort of make their own root, without realizing it?

I say this, because by all intents and purposes, I should have a major eating disorder.
And i don't say that lightly.
I should be calorie counting, and marking down what I eat, or don't eat at all.
And getting up at the crack of dawn to do laps around the garden, and go for 26 mile long cycles every other day.

But I don't.

And Im not in the other extreme, where Im just shoveling food down my gullet as quickly as humanly possible either.

I don't fall into either of those, even though, I really should

And  I don't know why they haven't kicked in.

But Im glad they haven't,
And I hope they don't.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I have had some of the most magical days.
Friday was lovely...I spent a few hours at Jane's, just being there...Then walked home, in the crisp and frost evening, to feed the donkeys, walk and feed the dogs and cats, and do a touch of housework, before I left again...Jane picked me up with the kids at about half 8...9ish, and we went back to her's to watch Black Swan, in the sitting room, with a fire down, home made popcorn and marshmallows, all curled up. It was really nice...even if the movie is a tad bit dark...but I was expecting it.
But then
We watched Adventureland, which is a guaranteed crowd pleaser... :)

Saturday, I woke up, moments after Meabh, and went down to the kitchen, to have lovely porridge with a cup of tea..and apple juice, finished off with half a bagel with cream cheese and plum jam...yummy :D
Then, because we had been talking about it a bit, I joined Jane when she did her meditation
And I felt the benefits instantly
So Im going to take that up from now on.

After all housey things were sorted, and kittens bid farewell, we set off on our little adventure, another thing that has been talked about many times over that past few months. But Saturday was the perfect day for it. 

It was just out of this world.
Saturday was clear, the light looked as if it was being filtered with honey stained glass, but it was so cold, you didn't forget it was winter.
Ballaghadereen is in essence 1 town away, its the far side of Swinford, so it takes about 30 mins to get there...give or take. Once past Swinford, the road opens up, the altitude changes, and all that you can see are the Sligo mountains. That journey always reminds me of going to Mantua with Jane, years ago at this stage, Or driving to Dublin with Eoghain.

We talked in the car and came to the conclusion that even if the Meet you Here cafe wasn't open, we wouldn't get discouraged, and we would make a day of it anyhow :)

Luckily for us, it was indeed open, and after we parked the car, we hesitated for just a moment. The time had felt like Christmas morning, when your still young enough to get that thrill out of Christmas...before you start worrying about money, and materialism, and need and want etc etc...

It was a very pure moment.
Greeting us at the door, to the little (would have been someone's house at some point) Irish Yellow cafe, was a cluster of potted trees, with fake flower garlands around the OPEN sign, a sunlight porch, and possibly the most polite and gentlemanly 10/11/12 year old boy that I have ever had the pleasure to meet. 
Instantly, the fire in the stove, warmed our bones, and I began to attempt to take in my surroundings. 
French music danced happily out of an old styled, free standing radio, on top of which was a bird's cage, with a de-perched white owl. Behind the counter, was a wall of shelves, which had glass jars, half filled with spaceships, gobstoppers, jelly beans...beautifully decorated tins with tea, an old wooden spinning wheel, old books, a waist high, comical statue of a goose, fairy lights with flowers, enlarged flowers in every corner for that matter, candles, lanterns and paintings covered every available wall space.
We walked into the 3 rooms off the main one, deciding where we would perch ourselves, and decided that the first table inside the door, felt right.
Seamus, the little boy who was serving us, was so attentive I couldn't get over it...full of chat, and very sweet. We started off with two capuchinos, which were so so yummy, we decided to get two more. I had french toast, which came with an apple salad, and a slice of avocado, and Jane had a ham and brie toastie. To finish off, mostly I think because we didn't want to leave, we got some dessert. I had a lemon tart, which was more like lemon cheesecake, that came with cream and tiny little orbs of frozen cream and raspberry coulis, which was absolutely scrum-diddlie-umptious, while Jane had a raspberry and almond tart, which was also to die for.

It was ever so magical, and everyone who came in to the cafe were friendly. I really felt as if I was in a scene from Harry Potter or Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I couldn't stop looking around at everything, and smiling. It was like perpetual summer in there.

'Back To Before'

Friday, January 21, 2011

I think this is true for a lot of people, in a lot of different ways
People put up these massive fortresses around themselves...sometimes it is so obvious, sometimes there are different charms and incantations on the walls, we cant even see them...we seem to walk through them, like mist...feeling there is nothing there keeping us out of that other person.
Just because the walls are invisible, doesn't mean they aren't there...just because you cant see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

And often, these walls are so strong, so much stronger then the ones that we can see.
The fact that we can see the visible ones, means that we can start pulling them down...
The invisible ones...we don't see, we cant assess how strong or weak, or what they are made of...what tools we need to start taking them down.

I know its a thing I have to accept. People put up walls for different reasons. Either something has happened in the past, maybe they never had need for walls and moats and booby traps and dragons and armies...but something happened, and all that was developed within them...layers of protection...

It is such a pity. That life can make us so hard.
Wouldn't it be amazing, if everyone could just be themselves, whatever that is..and that everyone would be accepted, exactly the way they are, in whatever shape they come. That there would be no need for pretense, or masks, or kind words, when there was no feeling behind them. Wouldn't it all be grand in there were no walls, and everyone, was as strong or as weak as they actually are, without have to carry around the cavalry with them everywhere...
It must be so exhausting carting around all those bricks everywhere...when it would just be so much easier to let people in...
Just because they are with in the walls, doesn't mean that they are moving in...they don't have to stay there forever...that what the door is can tell them to go back from where they came...
Just for a moment, wouldn't life be swell if there was no more bull and everyone was themselves...and everyone got on

And everyone was happy

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I was the one worth leaving

I have just held my breath for 4 minutes and 10 seconds...that must be some sort of record.
And I am now realizing that no one will comprehend the paramount of this post
But I will try and write it in the plainest and least complicated terms.

When I was living in my one room bedsit, in Salthill, during my portfolio preparation course.
In a house that was overlooking the sea, which seemed to have only tenants who were either illegal, or...naive...
The radio was my one friend, and comfort.
I used to listen to it religiously while I drew...and cooked and wrote...but mostly drew.
And after The Blast, which was Ray Foley's 10 o'clock slot, THAT is how far back we are talking
There was another show, which started at 12, called the small hours...
Now, rarely did I listen to the full program, but usually, without fail, I would at least listen to the opening half hour, which contained a short montage...and audio collage, which is still used now, which opens each program...and wedged in the middle of this mix of music, each piece lovelier then the last, was a short clip saying "Where I am"

That one little bit of the song has absolutely HAUNTED ME...
I txt into the show, I think I even emailed them at one point, asking who that bit of the song was response...
I gave up.

Then a few months back, me and the boy were in that new vintage shop in Galway, and that song was just finishing as we walked in...I rushed to the counter and asked the girl WHO DOES THIS SONG!!!!
she must have thought I was deranged...I don't even know if I said hi or anything to her
She was like..."eh...I have no idea..."
Gutted...I cursed God and wondered why he was withholding this vital information from me...
Again, I gave up., the 21st of January...2011 (which is turning out to be an EPIC year) I get what I have been waiting for for 5 LONG years...

In an email, from a friend that I had totally lost contact with, who I went to GTI with, she sent me a link to her video reel, with work she did from college, so I could see what she had gotten up to...
And guess what?
She used that song as the background music

can you imagine my face...?
hearing the song in its entirety
for the first time?

so i put the main words for the chorus into google search
and what pops up

I actually nearly exploded, turned inside out with joy, cried and screamed all at the same time
even now my head is pounding and swimming at the same time, with a mixture of dizziness, and shock

You see
Its come full circle...
A song that I associate so much with that time in my life, when I was living away from home, on my own, for the first time...Being on my own...And someone from that period of my life, has randomly reappeared, bringing with them THAT SONG...

Its almost too much for my little heart to bare.

And now that Ive heard it...all of it
I don't care what the song actually means...I don't even know if at this moment in time, I can actually take in the lyrics properly. It means so much more then that to me.
It encapsulates so many memories and feelings that, not in a million years, could I ever tie down with words.

My heart is totally light.
Its like saying The end...
Its happy, but at the same time, its sad.
I finally know, so I don't have to search anymore.

Songs are so powerful. And they can stay with us, long after we have forgotten the words...And the words can stay with us, long after we've forgotten the tune.
Mum has been listening to tapes that nana (her mum) made for her, of her singing, after mum moved to America.
Mum's been searching them to find the songs, that Nana wrote herself.
I heard one of them today...but it was mum singing it.

She was standing at the range, singing it off from a notepad she had just written it down onto.
She started by saying "imagine a time when there were no mobile phones, there was no skype...and you left home and the only way you could contact anyone was by post..."
And then mum started to sing...
And really...nana was amazing. She was. There was such a story to the song...and it was mums first time singing it, she had only just heard it for the first time in prolie about 20 years or so...and as I listened...I just imagined the way nana is now, and how she was then...watching her children go off, one by far off places (england was as foreign to them, as the moon is to us now)...and the worry...and the sadness...and everything...
And I know that mum was thinking the same

Because I we stood in the kitchen this morning, her singing to me, and me listening...There was a moment, when her voice faltered, and when I looked up, there were tears in her eyes.
I can prolie count the times Ive seen my mother cry, on one hand. But when I see her cry, even when her eyes are threatening, mine well up, and spill over, before you can say bobs your uncle.
Music is such a powerful thing
It makes us feel things that we push away,
It tells us stories of times that we have trouble imagining
And we can walk in the shoes of someone we may never have had the privilage of meeting

And that song gave mum such an insight into her own mother. I don't think nana unloaded her personal burdens onto her children...but all of what she was feeling, she made into songs...and what a gift she had.

And thank goodness she did

Oktapodi (2007) - Oscar 2009 Animated Short Film

This is so awesome...its like finding Nemo, condensed into 2 and a half minutes...genius

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I used to say this, because this (for me) used to be true.
I wasn't one of those kids that got lost in a book.
You wouldn't find me with a flash light, under my bed sheet, reading into the dead of night.
I didn't go to the library after school...

There was a traveling book fair that came to our school...maybe twice a year.
About a week beforehand, a little thin newsprint brochure was sent home with all the kids of books that would be on sale...I would put a little x next to or circle the books that I liked the look of, literally...

But read them...I don't think I ever did.

I distinctly remember reading The Island of the Blue Dolphin; Sarah, Plain and Tall; Where the Red Fern Grows and Great Expectations
I think I mite have sort of liked the first two...the last two I hated so much that at the time I would have made it my mission to gather up all the copies of each in the world and host a massive bon fire...

I love the smell of old books.
I love the feel of them.
And I do, like the look of them.
And now that Im a lot older, and Im not being forced to read anything against my will (it seems that when Im being forced to do something, I automatically reject it, even if I mite have liked it otherwise)
Ive started to get around to the idea of reading...
And not necessarily books that have pictures in them...

And, Mr. Warhol, I assure you..
If you had been around for the Harry Potter series
Pictures or no pictures, 
you would have definitely read them.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

almost forgot...
I wore one of my new dresses today, and felt awesome (^_^)
I love getting dressed up
even if no one sees me
and Im on my own all day
and even when I go take the dogs for a walk, no one is there
and it takes mum a half hour after she gets home to notice...
but still
I felt pretty and thats all that matters.
I know what my next three tattoos are going to be.
one, has been done a lot, recently.
one, i haven't found any internet evidence saying that its been done, but it prolie has
and one, Im getting, even if i have to do it myself :)


The last 3 days, Ive just been bursting with energy, I don't know where it has come from.
Yesterday, after rearranging the entire living room, I started on my bedroom, just tidying, I thought
No turned in to a full on SPRING (in January) clean, the likes of which, I don't think my room has ever seen.
I now have two bursting bags of clothes and various other bits and pieces for the charity shop...another bag of clothes that cant be given away because they are either falling the pieces or their too stained and shitty...

I put some screws in to the inside of my wardrobe so I could hang my embroidery hoops on the inside, so they aren't in the way, another one for my scissors, and another one of the inside of the wardrobe door for a hanger that hangs all my tights up.
I started going though all my fabric that Ive collected over the years, things that I really cant use and will never be able to use, Im getting make room for nice material that I will use. Its  a big job though, so Ive put everything away for now, so I can hit the hay. I mite take a break from it tomorrow, and start on a drawing. I don't want to go nuts on the cleaning/reorganising because itl wear me out totally, and I wont be fit for anything else.

Me and mum watched Grey's Anatomy today, and we watched it last night on rte player, and watched the Moon and the Sledgehammer as well, which was lovely.

Im tired, which is more than I can say I was last night...had such a hard time getting to sleep last night, I was so wired from cleaning and everything...

It feels good to be getting rid of things tho. Things I haven't worn in aver a year...why am I holding on to them...things I haven't used in I cant remember how long, Im just getting rid.

I. do. not. need. to. keep. everything

I have to keep reminding myself of that....

Sunday, January 16, 2011

dress swoon

do you want to know what true happiness looks like....??

arrange a shopping tip with me, that 'just happens'...but make sure that there are several things in that shop that we are going to that are going to fit me perfectly, look like they were 'made for me' are are on sale.

watch the fireworks

Me and mum went to Ballina today. Sometime before Christmas, we had gone over, and she had seen a few things in Shaws that she like the look of and wanted to see if she could pick them up on sale. I guess everyone else had the same idea, and none of the things she had in mind were left (very disheartening...mum rarely if ever goes clothes when she does, its nice for her to come home with what she wants) while she was looking through everything, to try and find something, I absentmindedly picked up a small armful of various dresses, cropped cardis, and things i thought were dresses, but turned out to be long top...things...I circled the department store, several times, making sure, if there was anything that had a chance of coming home with me, it did not get left behind...I was having fun...picking up things, I would never actually buy, because they were just that little bit too expensive for what they were...

But low and behold...the first two dresses that I had spotted as I walked into shows, were actually made for me...mum just stood and looked, with her mouth ajar...
I never ever ever have luck buying clothes...I usually leave it so long, that Im literally in a uniform because I just wear the same things over and over...but recently, I don't know what it is...the cosmos are lineing up, the plants are in the right spaces, and Im managing to find some killer dresses, for next to nothing...that look. fantastic.

Dorothy Perkins

where would you go wrong?

Bell X1-Eve The Apple of My Eye

This song comes to me,
In the middle of the day
In the middle of sentences

I hum it without remembering the lyrics
I sing it without knowing who its by

I forget it for months, and then it just infiltrates a day, any ordinary day, and Im not sure why.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

If I should become a Stranger

Went to work with mum tonight, Jackie's in Ballindine...
She doesn't technically need my help, but I don't like the idea of her going on her own, and setting up, when I can just do it for her...and the drive there and back...and then singing to possibly no one...

But it was fine...I'd never gone with her there before, so it was nice to a way.

Anyhow...she sang this...and it brought tears to my little peepers...
Mums voice is just so strong, and certain songs she sings...well I cant help but cry.

This isn't her...but until I record her singing shall do



Friday, January 14, 2011


Its one of those kinds of days...but it makes a change from the ice and snow of the last few weeks...
The light is so surreal today...One minute its like night, the next your being blinded...
In a moment, it can go from looking fine, to... "Close all the windows and doors, baton down the hatches, and hide under the bed!!!"
I have a list of things to do today, the length of my arm...most importantly...going into town...but I'll wait it out a little while longer, until the coast looks a bit clearer the that....

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The rain has eased now...I can just barely hear it
But the wind is picking up, and every so often a little fairy gale hits the window

Its the sound of summer, as I half remember/ half imagine it
The sound of hot, sticky, waves of air, rushing through the screens on the windows...bringing with them the humid, damp promise of thunder storms and torrential rain.

The sound of sleepless nights, tossing and turning when there was no air conditioning...
And when there was, tossing and turning, because the room was too cold then, and the mix of hot real air, and icey fake air made sleeping conditions unthinkable.

Its a sound of darkness...because you rarely hear that sort of groaning wind in the day time...covered by the sound of business as usual, and talk and cars and adds and radio, music drowns all other things out.

Its like the sound of the sea.
Such a lullaby to me
The repeat
The chorus
The washing away and repitition of that

A mark on the sand
There one moment
Gone the next.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

There is a lull...after everything was said.
And as my eyes reach across the room to search the tiny reflections in another, mum leans towards me.
She whispers which way it is going to go
As only a true Libran can
She knew before any vote was cast, which way the scales were to tip
But I still hold breath and hope and wait and listen
The rain pounds down heavy on the uneven, streetlamp lit streets
Glistening and shining where black ice was only a few days ago
Its amazing the difference a few days can make
But I know that everything happens for a reason
That is the only thing I believe in anymore.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

After yesterday's softness...I'm welcoming the sun.
It is glorious out, and everything seems to be insync..the donkeys were waiting up at the gate for their nuts this morning...I think it a mix of like...molasses dipped smells amazing whatever it is...
They are very good, I must admit...I opened the gate and they didn't budge...just waited quietly for their grub...fluffy heads :)

I am in desperate need of coffee...something nommy-licious...a shower...and laundry to be done.
Today will be a very practical day me thinks...I have to phone insurance companies and try to get insured on the boys car, so I can finally start driving...
Im not even going to fight it anymore...its inevitable, in this day and age...I sort of have to drive...there really isn't an alternative...

I took a peek at the pile of willow in the 'old garden' and it was glistening and glowing...its golden excited about that project...I hope it turns out the way I want it to...fingers crossed.

For you, to put a smile on that face :)

Eungi Kim .... possibly the most awesome thing I've ever seen

Friday, January 7, 2011

I went for a lovely long walk needed to clear my head out...I tell you...the backlog of things in there...all sorted now tho...Im going to get out the giant white board tomorrow and make a plan for the comics...a rough one mind you...cant be setting too many things in stone so early.

Watched the two videos I made yesterday of nana and mum talking...I said (whispered) a few little things, not thinking the camera would pick it up...
PLEASE someone tell me that I DO NOT sound like THAT?????
What sort of accent is that anyway....and how is it that we don't hear ourselves when we talk?
Ghastly... :(

Anywho...I am going to sleep RIGHT NOW...
Ok, not soon as I get off this, put the cats out, put the makeshift lemon meringue pie I made today into the fridge, and throw some pj's on.
Ill prolie have to take some of the Christmas decorations down tomorrow :(

I think when I have my own house, Im going to have a tree (not necessarily a christmas tree) up all year round, so I can decorate it according to the seasons... that would be nice...

You want to know something else nice...???
This evening's sunset...phenomenal

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I know what Im doing now, and Im quite excited about it.
I have quite a clear idea in my head of how I want things to turn out, and little jobs Im giving myself along the way.
So today was good...even if most of it was spent in the car, today was good.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I had one of the most human days ive had in a long time...I think it was much needed to bring me back down to earth after the start of a lovely and surreal year.
Really the only thing I want to say, that I need to say is that someone said something absolutely lovely to me today, and it internalized in such a way that it nearly felt like a weight traveling deep down into my core.
but it wasn't said in such a way. it was whispered, breathed out. and often times, those humble little words are the ones that mean the most and stay with us longest.
"Your like our big sister"

thats all.

its nice to feel like you belong.

Monday, January 3, 2011

recap the 2nd

Yesterday was one of those, "things don't get much better then this" days. Got up, put on one of my favorite dresses (which makes me look like an vibrant bluebird, if you don't mind). Did some finishing touches to Jane's birthday present, and donned my lovely winter coat to set off for the totally impromptu, surprise landing, of this little bird, on the doorstep of the Page's home, heralding a short poem I came up with on the way (thinking that the 2nd was Jane's birthday, when it was actually yesterday 0.0) 
The walk over was lovely and much needed. It was so nice to stretch out my legs and get some pace up because walking the dogs down the fields doesn't really cut it for exercise to be honest. 
I was met at the door with excited Zara and Towser, that always greet me first before anyone else, and seemingly Pat was saying, that the two of them came bounding from all different directions a split second before I turned the key in the door. Such a lovely way to be welcomed...happy happy dogs :)
Then Jane with open arms, which I refused, in order to give my little verse some breathing space...quite funny that I got the dates mixed up...a bit typical of me, but its the thought that counts really, isn't it? :)

Pat, lovely as ever, was there...and to warm my bones, a hot port was speedily served up, and then we all 3 snuggled down and awaited the arrival of Meabh's guests.
I tell ya...for there not being a party, to there being a full blow party that could nearly rival any Carroll Shindig...we had Italian Champagne, more hot ports, peppermint tea, fruit flan, kinder bueno, and on top of all that, a full spread of crusty bread, mixed salad leaves, mature white cheddar, mozzarella, tomatoes, cucumber, beetroot, this lovely salad dressing that had fresh garlic thinly sliced in it...among other goodies...It was simply divine !

Then myself, Aidan, Jane, Pat and her husband Ron, settled down in the living room to watch The Moon and the Sledgehammer which was so interesting...I didn't want it to end. Towser tried his luck numerous times to get up on the couch, where there was literally no room for a gerbil, nevermind a fully grown male whippet...the lovely thing that he is (^_^)

So So nice.

AND...I get to hang out with the kids either Friday or Saturday, which should be good fun as we all get on really well :D

Eoghain, being as good as gold, picked me up on his way home, after midnight, when it really was Jane's it was nice to actually be able to say Happy Birthday...seeing as I had mucked it up earlier :)

AND...then, Jane rang me today...and among other things, she told me that I was absolutely glowing yesterday, which was such a nice thing to be told. I think we notice when someone is not ok, or their in fowl humor...and we ask what is troubling them, or what their problem is, or we steer clear of them...We often down take stock of someone when they are happy...or cheery...because we sort of just expect that everyone should be happy, that when we do see it, we don't pay any attention. So I really appreciated that she rang to tell me that...what did she was so lovely...I think it was something along the lines of..."you were warm...and very would make someone want to sit with you..."
I like that last little bit the best...that made my day
Thank you Jane 

Make Me Merry Monday

"Those new genetically modified organic chickens are off the tits!!!"

Picture the scene...Im running in and out of the kitchen, tending to the main meal of the evening...juggling roast veg and brussels sprouts with helping Eoghain with his website layout. Letting the cats in and out, answering Dad's phone, which he constantly forgets to bring with him...playing around with the tablet and talking to Jane on the dog and bone.
After I put the carrots and parsnips into the oven to roast, I decided it would be as good a time as any to baste the chicken...not totally essential, but its a nice thing to do...
Lift the tin foil off to reveal that!
And in a split second of pure blonde stupidity I didn't cop that the two protruding bulges were half lemons 0.0
I am soooooo dim sometimes, I shock myself
But the chicken shocked me, so I started laughing hysterically and nearly let that damn thing slide out of the oven...but not quite.
It totally took me by surprise and had me in fits of giggles all night.

And before you say anything, it was mother's doing.
You wouldn't think she'd be capable of something like that, would you??
Pure Devilment :D

Saturday, January 1, 2011


New Year's Highlights

My outfit

Sing song round the kitchen table

Mum leading the choir
(from left to right: Monica, Peg, Ursela, Lil and Mum-with guitar)

January 1st 2011

Always Believe

It's not about being positive, or being negative.
It's about belief
Belief in the possibility that things could get better
That they hold within them, the potential to turn around and surprise you.
That things will get better.
It has nothing to do with being positive.
You don't have to go around smiling at every Tom, Dick and Harry all day,
Hopeing that that might change your fate...
But we all know that a smile goes a long way, and its not going to crack your face now, is it?
So you mite as well, right?
Besides...everyone looks better when they smile :)

After not getting to bed till about 5 this morning, I didn't bother setting my alarm.
I believed that Liudas would give me fair warning before popping in, he always does.
So, when his txt woke me at 10 past 12, saying he would be there in an hour or so, it gave me plenty of time to get up, and get dressed.
There's something about the Christmas Period...everyone wants to look nice, don't they?
We all want to look our absolute best...or at least I do. I'll speak for myself so. I don't think there has been one day since all the festivities began, where I have not worn some form of heel...and some little frock...carefully picked...more carefully then I would normally, anyway. 
And today, the first day of the year, was no different.
It is nice, to look nice, after all.

The first thing I saw when I looked out the kitchen window this morning was two magpies, sitting on the drive, side by side...
Two for Joy

I knew that it would be a flying visit, as it always is, so when the dogs started barking, I went out to meet the car. Dad called after me, to make sure that Liudas actually entered the house. 
It's good luck, for the first visitor you receive on New Year's Day, to be a man...and even better luck if he doesn't have red hair. So bearing that in mind, eventhough Liudas lept out of the car with gift in hand, looking like he was about to turn on his heel to make his escape (^_^) I insisted he at least cross the threshold, because mum and dad believed it to be good luck. And good luck is a nice thing to enter a home...

I went for a walk down to the river today with the dogs...just leading into dusk. 
I cant honestly remember the last time I went for a walk with them...with the weather we've been having lately, it is lovely to look at, but a bit dangerous to be walking the fields in.
I really enjoyed it tho. I love sticking my docs on (shoes that hardly ever see the light of day) to tramp down the damp grass. Everything looked so green this evening...and the dogwood and briars were so red...the contrast...well I just couldn't get over it.
And there was a split second where I thought a cuckoo...but after listening on awhile, 
I realized my ears were playing tricks on me...its far too early for cuckoos!

I caught the second half of The Prisoner of Azkaban...and the second half of Wall. E which had me teary eyed at the end...I will get it, the next time I see it somewhere and watch it from start to finish...Such a good second half of a movie...Im sure the first half must have been just as good ;)

Then, because my parents (namely father) are feeling worse for ware after last night, they went to bed between 8 and just myself for company, I watched the BBC's version of Oliver that Jane lent me a little while ago.
What a fantastic version.
No singing, No dancing.
It was proper, on the edge of your seat stuff.
And I did NOT want it to end...
Another dvd going on the wish list.

So, all in all...
Ive had a very nice first day of the year. 
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364 more, blissful, wonderful, happy, productive days left !


pathetic fallacy

You could not be more spot on today, if you tried