Saturday, April 2, 2011

because Im lazy

This made me laugh so much when I came across it on a blog that I follow nearly religiously, for no other reason then everything on it makes me crack up.
My darling friends will be offended by this...actually, they wont because they know me...but Twilight does not count as good reading...I wouldn't even call it a book...and what you do with it is not reading, it is slowing and painfully killing every single one of your braincells until nothing is left inside your girly skull except a pool of grey goo.
After the guts of a year of my deerlings trying to convince me that the books were actually 'really good' and that I should 'give them a chance'...I did, for no other reason then to keep them quiet for 5 minutes.
Oh for Jesus sake.
I know that Im not a big reader. In fact, its a rarity to find me curled up with anything thats not glossy and full to the brim with pictures, but I did plough though the first 3, and then 3/4's the way though the 4th one before I actually asked to be put on life support, fearing that the liquid dripping from my head was not still wet hair from a shower two weeks ago, and instead, the entire contents of my liquidized brain.
How, I ask you, how did Stephenie Meyer ever convince herself, never mind an editor AND a publisher and then a writer and a director and actors to take that pile of regurgitated crap seriously?? I just don't understand. If I ever have to read the word 'smolder' on the pages of a paperback again, I think I will actually throw chunks.

I suppose there was a piece of me that thought, "hey, maybe Im wrong about this whole Twilight phenomenon?? Maybe the books are better then the movies (which I was also dragged to kicking and screaming by my darling friends). But...
I was definitely right.
The books are absolutely terrible, and there is nothing that anyone, living or dead, can say that would change my mind to that BLINDING fact.

All of that aside, a certain percentage of the profits miss Meyer receives go directly to the Mormon church, which ran a massive campaign against prop 8, and are generally out with pitchforks and flaming torches to smoke and burn the gays out of every village from Utah to Uzbekistan.

Of course I would burn the 4 'novels' I have, but I don't want to pollute the world further with her tripe...
I was thinking of sending them back to her, but Id be afraid she would just resell them, and make a quick buck off them...
If anyone has any suggestions what I could do with the damned things, let me know...Im sick of looking at them.

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